What's New?!

Did you really expect anyone else? Michael Jackson used to be cute, but took it upon himself to destroy his face and also his reputation. He now looks like an albino alien whose nose appears to change on a daily basis. Just goes to show you what can happen if you are too critical of your looks. You can end up an albino alien like Mike.


Talk about a total trainwreck. This woman is about as ugly and classless as it can get. Courtney Love is quite frankly a donkey. We cannot even find anything slightly redeeming about her. Maybe if she gets help for the drug abuse, then she can work on cleaning herself up. But it's going to take A LOT of work!


Seriously ... what the hell? Does ANYONE find this attractive? From the ghostly white makeup you can see on his black collar to the funky blue eye and blood red lips ... Marilyn Manson is a freak and there's nothing more to say. Not only is he ugly, but he scares the crap out of us.


Lyle Lovett has to have some good blackmail on someone. Otherwise, how in the hell did he ever get into acting? And the fact that Julia Roberts married this beast makes us think she's not only nuts, but ugly too. Tell us one thing that you find attractive about this man ... go on. Then we'll laugh at you.


Holy hell ... Kelis is not bringin' any boys to the yard looking like that. There have been rumors that she is really a man, and quite frankly we are thinking something's not right with this chick. Every time we see her she has her mouth open and looks like she's ready to eat us. She's scary. Next time we see her, we are looking for the Adam's apple.


No need to try and strike a sexy pose by pushing out your lips, David Spade: You're ugly. The thing about David, though, is that he is actually really funny which in some way redeems him from our wrath. However, it's hard to take him seriously when he is putting down other people's appearances. Um, look in the mirror, Dave.


Do we need to explain this one? Didn't think so. But for those of you who disagree, let's spend some time reviewing why this grease monkey is on our list. Not only are Kid Rock's wifebeater tops, scruffy face and stringy long hair disgusting, but have you seen his teeth? He seriously is a gangled up mess and is very deserving of the #7 placement. He's gross!


Tori Spelling must be thanking her daddy for helping her get into the acting business 'cause there is no other way she would EVER have made it. Thanks Aaron Spelling for ruining our lives! Sometimes you hope someone will grow on you after awhile, but even now when we see Tori on TV we immediately switch the channel. Yeah, it's that bad. And don't even get us started on her acting.


Um, for the love. Now we know Carrot Top (Scott Thompson) has been working out and is all buff, but that doesn't change the fact that he's a freak. First, we don't find him funny whatsoever and he looks horrendous. From the long red curly hair to his always crazy expression ... he makes us want to hurl. Second, the buff body actually makes things worse. Oh crap, where's the trashcan?


No need to make it worse Andy ... you're ugly enough as it is. Andy Dick doesn't amuse us, but his face does. He looks like a mouse to us and although mice can be really cute, this one isn't. His jokes are sometimes funny, but we get sidetracked by his ridiculous faces ... oh wait, that's just him in general.


"Uh, I'm ugly." Yeah, we know Kelly. The British accent is cute and we love that she is all about being an individual, but quite frankly Kelly Osbourne's annoying and a brat. And we're not picking on her weight, because it fluctuates and we don't care. Weight really can't change whether you are ugly or not. And Kelly is on our list!


Once a hobbit always a hobbit ... they have big hairy feet. We just aren't cool with that NOT being considered ugly. The only thing going for Elijah Wood is that he is a great actor and we love his baby-blue eyes. Otherwise, he's ugly and we don't foresee him aging well at all. Ugh, just imagine him 20 years from now. Dear God!


We don't think anyone would write a song about John Mayer called 'Your Body is a Wonderland.' Not only has he gained a TON of weight, but he's also gotten a lot more sloppy with the way he dresses and that horrible hair. And what was Jessica Simpson thinking? Jeez. She must have been at an ALL TIME low to date John. Just look at him.


There are two things that bother us about Renee Zellweger specifically: her squinting and her voice. She is constantly being made fun of because of her annoying squintiness and she is always trying to pucker her lips. Does she think that's attractive? Ugh, she just bugs us. Perhaps it's more for being annoying than ugly, but whatever ... she's on our list still.


We think Clay Aiken really believes he is adorable and he is seriously mistaken. We actually liked him much better when he was all nerdy at the beginning of 'Idol.' Now he has put on weight and colored his hair dark brown. Ugh. He is gross and we don't like his accent either. We are all about loving accents, just not when you're this unattractive.


We were torn about this one. Jack Black is like a lovable little puppy, but under no circumstances is this man beautiful. So, we could go both ways on this. We are HUGE Jack Black fans and love his quirky little beats that he loves to drop all the time, but he is not a pretty man. Sorry Jack, but your scruffiness and wacky face earn you a spot on our list.


Not that either of the Hilton sisters are pretty by any means, but between Paris Hilton and Nicky Hilton, we'd have to say that Nicky is much uglier. Yes, we said it. The Hiltons are ugly! Nicky has a long face with a nose that points down and tired looking eyes. And her lips are huge. It's just a really trainwrecked face. Sorry.


Yes, Jon Heder is hilarious ... we have seen his movies and laughed our asses off, but part of the reason he is funny is because of the way he looks. We're laughing with you Jon, not at you. Well, maybe a little of both. He has shaggy hair, squinty eyes and a mouth that never closes. We think his teeth are too big and his lips can't reach one another. It's a sad thing.


Tom Cruise is psycho. That's basically all we need to say. We don't understand why some people are totally obsessed with him. Perhaps it was his heroic movies. But just because a guy PLAYS a heroic character doesn't make him a hero, or any more attractive for that matter. He's ugly with weird teeth and a crooked nose. And he's a midget. Trust us on this one. Katie, we're coming to save you, so hang on!


Mariah Carey makes us sad. She used to be so beautiful when she first hit the music scene and has since become a complete trainwreck. From her psychotic breakdowns to gaining a ton of weight ... Mariah has let herself go. And why does she still insist on dressing so provocatively? We don't want to see it Mariah ... you're gross.

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